When you have put your whole self into a relationship, what happens when it ends? When you barely have the energy or motivation to move from wherever it is you fell asleep, too exhausted from crying to move to your bed, how can you be excpected to muster up the effort it takes to build a new life, especially when you do desperately wish the old one had not come to an end.
If I begin to forge a new life for myself that means letting go of you and accepting that our lives are no longer intertwined and that we will forever more be two seperate entities. Two cars that once cruised side by side along a freeway but took different exits, just momentary visitors in each others journey. There will never come a time when I don’t want to be with you, so I don’t want my actions to say otherwise, therefore I don’t want you to see me creating a new life and take it to mean that I have moved on in anyway, I want you to know that my heart and life will forever belong to you, locked away in safekeeping for you, in a place where they will remain unchanged. And if there ever comes a time when you want to collect what is yours, you will know that all you have to do is say the word, no matter how much time has passed, and that my feelings for you will be just as strong as they are today.
After sharing the love that we have shared, it is impossible for me to move forward and be happy with anybody who is not you. You have complete ownership over my heart, it is no longer mine to give away, nor would I ever want to. I could never settle for anything less than what I have felt for you.
I truly believe that I was lucky to experience what we shared. It was a once in a lifetime love that has forever changed me, right to my core. You opened my eyes and I now see the world differently because our love was so immense it changed everything about who I was. How can I go forward now, without you? I feel incomplete and I know that only you can be the one to make me feel whole again. You are irreplaceable.
Knowing that if I continue in this world, I will never feel that completeness again is a scary thought. That everyday I will wake up missing you and that nothing in this world will ever be able to anaesthetise or alleviate the pain that I am feeling.
This world is a scary place without you.