Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me.. no more.
Is all fair in love and war? When does a partner cross the line and enter a territory where they can not possibly be forgiven. ?
For some, the line is physical abuse. At least that is easy to define. I can stay through punches and hurled objects – he’ll get me mad enough and I swear I could be an Olympic shotput champion with the practise I have pelting countless glasses at a boyfriend who knows how to push everyone of my buttons.
I am not proud of the fact that I have been in a physically abusive relationship, I wish more than anything that it had never reached that point because that is definitely a line that once it has already been breached is very easily crossed time and time again. I don’t think, however, that because it happened that means we can’t love one another or that we shouldn’t be together. We are both young, we are both damaged. Our hurts from previous relationships and the wounds we have collected as we stumbled through lives that weren’t always easy have shaped us into the flawed and fragile beings that we are today – the parts of him that can anger me so deeply are also a huge part of the reason I fell so wholly in love. We honestly do care for each other – I know it hasn’t all been a lie – and I can say for myself at least that the man I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with is someone that pushes me to be the best me that I can be, and I hope too that he can see that all I want for him is that same goal. He is infinitely amazing and good and fair and loving and I want him to see that, because I do.
This was never supposed to be a love note, I started writing this to vent about a cruel sucker punch he just threw at me during an argument. But I can’t write about him without it turning to gushing romance, hearts and candy and everything sweet I love him so wholly. With every fibre of my being, I am his
You are my future, please don’t push me away
I love you, Donk